Love Island Australia - Season 1

Sophie kicks off tonight’s proceedings by showing us a soft porn montage of our contestants overlaid with a soundtrack of early 2000’s ringtones… just in case you’ve been wondering how that crazy frog’s been going. Basically the girls show up in their best stripper combos (bikini and heels for the uninitiated) and wait for the male contestants to show up and choose them as a partner, based purely on their appearance. #feminism

It’s the second morning in our Love Island mansion and Hurricane Kim has left a path of destruction in her wake. Last night the bikini model bounced into the house in a whirl of hair extensions, fake tan and excessively white teeth - the likes of which we haven’t seen since Britney’s Las Vegas residency. Fortunately for us Kim is a flirty kind of gal, systematically going through each and every guy to decide which one will be her safest bet. It’s pretty darn easy when she has the ability to turn each of them into a blubbering pool of drool. The best Justin can come up with is ‘what’s your favourite colour?’ (Green) and ‘do you remember how oranges used to make your fingers smell?’ (Seriously what the hell?)

The girls and boys are realising that the next coupling is fast approaching, and it’s sent the islanders into a flurry of pacts and flirting, analysing every conversation with each other. It was all reminiscent of the pre-PE anxiety brought on when the teacher told you to pair up in primary school.

Sophie Monk - she’s just like us! Apparently last night Soph was also yelling at the idiot box - telling Cassidy and Tayla to run for the hills… solidarity sister. It remains a mystery as to why she wasn’t allowed to go in and yell at them in person - would have made for some seriously compelling viewing. Over in the bedroom, Kim is still trying to get away from Josh. It’s like the bed is no man’s land and she feels safer down in the trenches. We find out they finally spooned (well Josh IS the best at it) but Kim 150% denied Josh any mouth on mouth action. And boy did he try.

Sleep. The great equalizer. You can be as beautiful, fit or tanned as you like, but the moment you close your eyes and the night vision switches on… we’re all the same. We have our mouths open and are inelegantly sprawled across the bed (two thumbs up Tash), or we elbow our bedmate directly in the face without waking up (great work Justin). After rising and applying 45 layers of fresh tan, Millie and Tash both decide to make a play for John James… probably wasn’t the best strategy turning up in the exact same yellow bikini though? Thankfully they have different coloured hair and are thus, easily identifiable. As usual Millie is front and centre - and as usual Tash is annoyed about it.

After Eden’s poetry reading last week, it seems Josh too has become inspired - treating us to the kind of gems Yeats would be jealous of. Calling himself the ‘poetry killa’ he lets us know he feels ‘fresher than a newly washed piece of corn’ and the romance is almost too much to take. Josh trots outside to try some more fresh rhymes on Tayla, the current focus of his attention, after Kim made it pretty darn clear she has 0% interest in him. Tayla and Josh have a solid D&M about the length of her leg hair, after which she tells him not to hold her hand - so naturally he tries to hold her hand. He’s really working hard to hold the title of most oblivious man in the house (currently held by Justin).

Wounded yet stoic, Cassie cautions Tayla that she’s not ready to talk to her yet, lest she say anything nasty that she’ll regret later. Proving her deep sensitivity, Tayla keeps flapping her gums while following Cassie around, making sure the jilted blonde knows just how willing she is to respect those boundaries that she definitely will respect just as soon as she finishes delivering her neverending monologue about just how respectful she intends to be. In an almost identical conversation, Grant approaches Josh, whose interest in Tayla was thwarted by the previous night’s re-coupling saga as well.

Just in case you missed it, Grant and Tayla are a couple now. Tayla is telling anyone and everyone who’ll listen, including the camera in the diary room... like we can’t see the two of them constantly making out like two drunk kids at the year 12 formal. Luckily there’s no chance of anyone’s braces getting stuck together. Tayla is all of a sudden head over heels for Grant - despite being indifferent to him three days ago - and wants us all to know it. She can’t stop smiling and telling us Grant has her back. Poor fool.

Eden and Erin go on a date. Grant gets a wax. The Islanders ride the Truth Bike and Francoise takes her pick breaking up a couple.

New boy Jaxon sparks a jealous walk-out by an Islander. Elias kisses Millie in the strip-tease challenge.

New arrival Mac goes speed dating. Elias and Millie go from hot to not after a night in the Hideaway.

Eden and Erin have their first fight and Cassidy breaks down ahead of the Recoupling Ceremony.

New arrival Dom makes the boys nervous and Erin plays matchmaker.

Dom whisks away two girls for a romantic date. There's trouble in paradise for new couple Cassidy and Josh.

Loved-up Grant and Tayla return from the Hideaway and Sophie delivers shock news that two boys will be dumped from the Villa.

The fallout from last week's shock dumping sends emotions running high through the Villa and new arrival Teddy goes on some dates.

Even Sophie is shocked as the results of the most controversial recoupling yet shakes things up in the Villa.

Tayla seethes as Cassidy and Grant get close in the Yoga Challenge whilst the two new girls, Shelby and Amelia ignite competition.

A surprise Recoupling leaves two girls single and at risk of being dumped.

Either Cassidy or Mac will be dumped. Who will Australia send home

Love blossoms around the Villa, but a surprise recoupling ceremony sends one Islander home.

Romance ignites in the Villa as International Love Island Day kicks off, and one couple becomes closer after a surprise gesture.

A surprise text is sprung upon the girls on their spa day out, forcing them to make a difficult decision that will drastically change their time left in the Villa.

Excitement in the Villa peaks when two new boys enter and Sophie returns with a big announcement.

The girls make a move towards one of the new boys as a controversial challenge brings some Islanders to tears.

A villa challenge reveals some truths about the Islanders and the scramble is on to find the perfect partner for the final recoupling.

As finale week continues, tensions between the couples comes to an all-time high when a power struggle erupts over an emotional dumping.

Feuds ignite as one Islander runs away from the Villa, and a controversial challenge spells the end of one couple's romantic connection.

As the grand finale approaches, the final four couples go on intimate dates to reflect on their time in the Villa and their relationship.

Your favourite Islanders have spent six weeks in a villa in Mallorca, Spain, and now it's time to find out who's the winning couple as voted by viewers.