Twits and Crits

Fisticuffs, gender-bending, mutilation, love affairs, magic, hacking, and so much drinking. It's all here in the first episode of our new Funhaus D&D adventure!

In which our travelers meet a family in need, drink themselves stupid, battle a pack of wolves, and discover a strange, gruesome scene.

In which suspicions arise, balls are modified, a halfling is tossed, and far too much time is spent discussing the genitals of goblins.

In which new caverns are discovered, Dirik becomes aroused, Decker remains indifferent, and many enemies are brutally and needlessly maimed.

In which much Pakse is consumed, Shattercock disrobes, Grimo is left turgid, and Racsan reveals a shameful and potentially perilous family secret.

In which a plan is hatched, a laptop is booted, brigands are dealt with, and Grimo's balls are left hopelessly azure.

In which our heroes rejoin the fight, new paths are laid bare, Mirri gains some odd abilities, and Shattercock loses her top.

In which... well, in which our heroes fight a pretty damn intimidating giant red gorilla. Plus, Shattercock is still super topless.

Prepare yourselves for the most HUMERUS episode of Twits & Crits to date! ... In which our adventurers encounter undead foe and stumble upon an ancient cryptograph.

In which faces are removed, confounding puzzles are solved, fantasies are explored, and, sadly, Shattercock finds cover for her bosom.

A giant, fleshy monstrosity appears.... and no, it's not Shattercock! Geez. Plus, Dirick gets in touch with his avian side.

In which our adventurers encounter the darkest magic they've ever seen, and Mr. Skittles acts like a total dick.

Last time, on Twits & Crits, our noble band of adventurers made their way to the western holdfast to rendezvous with Captain Aegis Sniller and collect the reward bounty placed upon the hideous heads of the fugitive Moondog Brothers. Sniller offered the group additional payment to stay and fight the approaching orc army. Two hundred and fifty gold pieces proved a convincing sum, and the group agreed to extend the contract, as willing mercenaries. All relished in their newfound wealth, except for Miri, who received a considerably lesser sum of one hundred and fifty gold pieces, much to his chagrin. For the young halfling Grimo, the companionship of brave war horse Chauncey was payment enough. As the army advanced and the sun set upon our heroes, the very cool Decker procured his metallic wizardry tablet and soothed the tired warriors with a “sweet midi tune.” Now the army approaches and our heroes prepare for one of the most dangerous encounters of their lives...

In which the newly formed orc alliance finds itself on shaky ground, pretty much everybody gets drunk, Dirik fights for control of his army, and Miri gets oddly racist.