Late Show with David Letterman

Tom Brokaw shows up to take back some NBC ""intellectual property;"" Dave shows off the renovated Ed Sullivan Theater and chats with Bill Murray.

Dave's worst moment on last night's debut: his fake tooth fell out (the video is repeated several times in slow motion); a four-year-old geography expert and cheese lover names states on a U.S. map.

A very pregnant Demi Moore is given the honor of throwing the first pencil through the backdrop windows of the Late Show.

The ghost of Ed Sullivan (who haunts Dave throughout the first week) introduces a plate spinner; Andy Dick makes his first appearance as ""Donnie, the CBS Page Who Likes To Suck Up.""

Dave has fun with a car phone, calling in bogus traffic reports to 1010 WINS radio; Casey Kasem presents ""Top Ten Favorite Numbers Between 1 and 10;"" after showing a clip from an old ""Wonder Woman"" episode, Debra Winger strips to her old Wonder Girl outfit.

Dave continues pestering locals with the new hands-free car phone: WINS radio, a car wash, Dial-a-Mattress and Jackson Hole Restaurant, where he orders pancakes.

Dave grills his new announcer, making him do voiceovers throughout the show (including #1 on the top ten list).

Tom Snyder wants everybody to know that he does not hold a grudge with Dave. Meanwhile, Alan Kalter continues to get used to his new surroundings.

Charlton Heston plays ""Dave's Boss"" and bullies him mercilessly. Later, Kevin Pollak promotes ""The Usual Suspects.""

Amongst the ""Items Included in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame:"" Stuff found in ZZ Top's beards, a guitar made of David Crosby's old liver, and Marv Albert's Rock & Roll Bloopers, with Hootie (as in Hootie and the Blowfish) getting hit on the head by a basketball. Meanwhile, in order to prepare for an Olympic diver that will be appearing later, Dave recruits Alan and an audience member to get in a tank.

Wesley Snipes promotes ""Money Train,"" then strips to a dress.

A day after the Emmy Awards, Dave tosses donuts into the audience with the new Donut-A-Pult. Quote Dave: ""Now it's really hard to believe we didn't win an Emmy."" Meanwhile, Biff Henderson recites a passage from the Packwood Diaries.

Dave gives a ham to an audience member named Bud Perchinski, who later assumes control of one of the cameras. Later, Flea (from Red Hot Chili Peppers) and Jewel Kilcher perform a duet.

Adam Sandler promotes Happy Gilmore; Yankees pitcher David Cone demonstrates ball-handling techniques.

It's the unofficial Three-Year Anniversary. (The count is 90 morning shows, 1810 Late Nights, and 654 Late Shows.) Dave shows some of his favorite clips, then goes door-to-door in New Jersey with Gene Siskel, Roger Ebert and Richard Simmons.

Dave shows highlights from the annual Labor Day staff cookout on 53rd Street; Terry Bradshaw and stagehand Corky Ramirez both inexplicably break into song.

Warren is caught watching tennis on TV; Dave harasses teen talk show host John Hall; Beck performs ""Devil's Haircut.""

Viewers at home receive the rare opportunity to see the new audience orientation tape (starring Leonard Tepper). Later, Fiona Apple performs ""Criminal.""

On Warren's last night filling in for Paul, he receives a ""Deputy of Comedy"" badge. Later, Sugar Ray performs ""Fly.""

Paul returns from filming ""Blues Brothers 2000"" with a shaved head. Meanwhile, Dave, Biff, Regis, Al Roker, and Bob Barker harass people in Central Park.

During a segment comparing President Clinton's vacation to Dave's, a stockbroker comes in for a hug.

Dave points out that the show has undergone budget cuts, which might explain the tiny cue cards Tony's holding. Later, Beau Bridges promotes his new series, ""Maximum Bob.""

Dave makes a lenghty rant about ""The Late Shift"" after an audience member asks him for an autograph; Martin Short sings the Top Ten List; Terry Bradshaw makes his predictions for the football season.

Alan Kalter comments on home run record that is being chased by Mark McGwire; Dave announces that CBS ""just don't care 'bout"" the new fall lineup; Ray Romano talks about his family.

During CBS Mailbag, Dave and the band play ""Let's Screw with Paul Shaffer's Mind.""

Junior Brown sits in with the band, while Biff reports from Busch Stadium in St. Louis.

Dave rants about the CBS/Viacom merger; Kevin James promotes a new comedy special.

Dave tries to call Sumner Redstone's office, then persuades Ricki Lake to make a crank call to Oprah.

Craig Kilborn promotes some talk show that comes on after Dave's.

John Popper sits in with the band, while Alan punches Sumner Redstone during CBS Mailbag.

George Clarke dances in a diaper; Dave shows a ""highlight"" from last night's Emmy win: a clip of Rob Burnett kissing his wife at the ceremony (he forgot last year).

Andrea Sande and Nadine Hennelly help Joe G's with a Y2K Inspection. They pass, of course.

Dave shows that he has a bandaged finger, claiming that he got a poison gas sensor alarm at his house over the weekend. He later breaks down, admitting that he cut his finger making potato salad.

Dave shows a supposed clip of the Bushes applauding Al Gore's acceptance speech. Later, several of Joe G's customers participate in a game called "Pizza Survivor."

The cast of the original "Survivor" are featured in a special Top Ten list. Later, Dave chats with Jack Hanna.

Dave asks "Survivor I" winner Richard Hatch about his "appearance" on the show last night.

Dave shows the "rabid dingo" bite clip again; Biff tests his psychic abilities with unlabeled canned goods; Donal Logue promotes "The Tao of Steve."

Dave's finger still hurts; Paul offers to pick up Anna Kournikova for her upcoming appearance; Alan makes a special offer to Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres (who just split up).

Dave announces that instead of "whatever," from now on he will be saying "wherever"; during a segment called "While We Were Out," the male staff members commemorate a minor design change on the stage by sitting in Dave's chair buck naked; Will Ferrell makes a threating message in song to Barbra Streisand.

Dave points out that Tony Mendez is mentioned in this week's "Talk of the Town" column in The New Yorker. Later, Jude Brennan makes her last appearance as the bitchy "Mrs. Letterman."

Dave mentions that a street is being named after Paul in his hometown of Thunder Bay, Ontario. Later, Dave plays ""How Many Guys in Alien Suits Can Fit Into a Coffee Shop?""

Dave shows a promo for Al Jazzera's new show ""Afghani Idol;"" Dave calls Paul a half-wit, then apologizes several times; George Miller comments on frozen cryogenics and asks, ""What if the person froze to death?""

Steph/Monty is on the roof with binoculars, looking for Bon Jovi performing in Times Square. Later, another one of Dave's assistants applies sunscreen on our weary voyeur.

During CBS Mailbag, a viewer asks how Biff chose where to go during his summer tour. Biff responds by thanking ""Rand"" and ""McNally,"" who turn out to be a couple of much younger women that he's sleeping with.

Dave shows a (supposed) clip from the hit movie ""SwimFan,"" then chats with Stephanie about the US Open.

Dave introduces the man that supposedly punched David Wells; Rupert's Paul Shaffer sandwich beats Europa Cafe's basil chicken sandwich in a taste contest; ""Dr."" Bill DeLace addresses the West Nile Virus.

Dave chats with Stephanie about a (supposed) incident that occurred over the weekend; Alan makes a suggestive offer to Secretary of Labor Elaine L. Chao; Al Franken promotes his new book.

Kings of Leon perform their breakthrough hit, "Molly's Chambers."

Biff searches for celebrities on the street; recently retired General Tommy Franks looks back at his illustrious military career.

"CBS Mailbag," including Stephanie dressed as Batman, "CBS Vice President of Late Night Programming Vinnie Favale," and "George W. Bush" (Gerard).

Paul's "Stump the Band" losing streak continues; Whoopi Goldberg promotes her new sitcom.

Dave welcomes 2003 U.S. Open Men's Tennis Champion Andy Roddick and actor Jack Black. Dave remembers the late Warren Zevon with the Show #1895 tape of Warren singing "Mutineer" on October 30, 2002; Paul and the band play Warren Zevon bumper music throughout the show.

Dave points out that CBS is airng stock footage of a guy wresting an ostrich to compete with NBC's Olympic coverage; director Chris Kentis promotes Open Water; ""Still Standing"" star Renee Olstead performs a scorching rendition of ""Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby.""

Dave has difficulty explaining to Paul what exactly animal photographer Sam Easterson does; Dave shows another out-of-focus clip from the Olympics; Denis Leary promotes the FX hit drama ""Rescue Me.""

""CBS Mailbag"" features Dave getting friendly with U.S. Olympic volleyball stars Kerri Walsh & Misty May (bogus), Alan Kalter's ""You're Busted"" at Ranch 1, and New Jersey going ""Gay Crazy;"" gold medalist Paul Hamm visits.

A man from Pennsylvania turns himself into a human jack o'lantern on ""Audience Show & Tell;"" ten U.S. Olympians present the Top Ten; political writer Maureen Dowd makes several alarming comments on the presidential election.

Osama bin Laden announces that he wants to replace Craig Kilborn as host of the Late Late Show; Dave celebrates 11 years at CBS with a timeline; Biff reports from the Republican National Convention, with a goal to hug as many ""Republican Babes"" as possible.

Travis Pastrana - Andy Kidler - Baby Gramps

Dave toys around with the new product from Apple Computers, the "I-Stinguisher"; a man in pajamas and a bathrobe asks Dave where he would find some coffee; writer Jeff Bredenberg promotes his book "Five Little Fixes"; The Roots perform "Here I Come."

In honor of the show's 13th anniversary, an intern accidentally walks onstage to ask Dave to sign his own greeting card; live from Tracy, California, Ron Patrick drives around in a silver 2000 Volkwagen Bug with a 1,450-horsepower jet engine; Dave tries to interpret Snoop Dogg's "dizzle"-speak; OK Go performed "Here It Goes Again."

Tony visits The Hamptons, where he complains about traffic; recently embarassed CNN anchor Kyra Phillips presents the Top Ten; 5,000 tennis balls are dropped onstage; Opie & Anthony promote their radio show.

Former President Bill Clinton plugs his new book and explains why he can't be his wife's running mate; Patti Scialfa performed "A Town Called Heartbreak."

Dave apologizes to Sue Hum for a pre-show accident; the show is interrupted by a performance of "Mark Twain Tonight!" starring Johnny Dark; Danny Devito plugs his new restaurant; Larry David (in his very first Late Show appearance) comments on Dave's hair; Avril Lavigne performs "When You're Gone."

In the midst of a citywide taxi strike, a cab is seen carrying people on the its roof and front hood; Biff makes a feeble attempt at seeing Jessica Alba in person; George Saunders plugs his new book; Manchester Orchestra (in their network television debut) performs "Wolves at Night."

Throughout the show, saxophonist Aaron Bing attempts to break the world record for the longest sustained note (and ultimately fails). Also, Arctic Monkeys perform "Fluorescent Adolescent."

Jodie Foster, Glen Hansard, and Marketa Irglova are the scheduled guests.

Prior to the show, Jude Brennan confronts Dr. Phil about Dave's "psychotic tendencies"; Deborah Lynn loses yet again on "Psychic Sandwich"; during his interview with Dave, Dr. Phil discusses at length the reasoning behind celebrity bad behavior; Suzanne Vega performed "Anniversary."

Nicolas Cage, Anna Torv, and Terrence Howard are the scheduled guests.

Dr. Phil McGraw, Tilda Swinton, and Tricky are the scheduled guests.

Following the previous night's acceptance speech, Dave admits to underestimating Gov. Sarah Palin; Andy Kindler makes his last report from the GOP convention in Minneapolis; Robin Williams throws in his two cents on the election; Shannen Doherty plugs the new 90210 and describes surviving the Southern California mudslides; Duffy performed "Warwick Avenue."

John Malkovich, Hayden Panettiere, and Steve Earle are the scheduled guests.

Keira Knightley and Thomas L. Friedman are the scheduled guests.

Jada Pinkett-Smith, Chris Russo, and Michael Buble are the scheduled guests. Plus, the second annual NASCAR Top Twelve!

Dave makes an unusual offer to Moammar Khadafi; throughout the night, Dock Diving Dogs make a splash out on 53rd Street; Howie Mandel explains the origins of his obsessive-compulsive disorder; The Dirty Projectors performed "Cannibal Resource."

A message from the Department of Labor; a staffer gives Dave a 16th anniversary t-shirt (courtesy of Dave); Jeremy Piven puts the mercury poisoning rumors to rest; Rumor Willis plugs Sorority Row; The Black Crowes performed "Good Morning, Captain."

Billy Crystal and John Fogerty are the scheduled guests.

Footage of Dick Cheney wheezing through an interview on Fox News; Dave expresses jealousy towards Neil Patrick Harris for appearing on the cover of the CBS/Viacom magazine "Watch!" and asks him about his recent trip onboard the Orient Express; Steve Mazan riffs on hotel keycards; Dave shows a doctored "Watch!" magazine with him on the cover; Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros performed "Home."

Tony Blair and Julianna Margulies are the scheduled guests.

Tina Fey Vandalizes Dave's Car. Jeremy Irvine tells Dave about his quick rise to stardom in "War Horse."

Dave welcomes actress Kristen Bell and musical guest Blind Pilot.

Dave welcomes actor Mark Wahlberg, actress Heather Morris, and musical guest Snow Patrol. "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Un Celebrated His Birthday". The Glee star turns filmmaker with a special video for Dave.

Dave welcomes Kate Beckinsale, Bloopers with Marv Albert, and music from The Little Willies.

Comic Kathy Griffin; from "Zero Dark Thirty", actor Chris Pratt; Big Boi performs.

TV personality Regis Philbin; musical guest Zedd.

From "30 Rock", actor Tracy Morgan; sportscaster Marv Albert; musical guests Everest.

Talk show host Michael Strahan; from "Zero Dark Thirty", actress Jessica Chastain; musical guest Conor Maynard.

News anchor Brian Williams; musical guest Morrissey.

From "Gangster Squad", actor Josh Brolin; from "Zero Dark Thirty", director Kathryn Bigelow; musical guest Ray Wylie Hubbard.

From "Girls", creator and actress Lena Dunham; from "New Girl", actor Max Greenfield; musical guest Brandy Clark.

From "Community", actor Joel McHale; sportscaster Marv Albert; musical guests Washed Out.

From "Captain America: The Winter Solider", actress Scarlett Johansson; musical guest John Grant.

TV host Anderson Cooper; from "Saturday Night Live", comedian Bobby Moynihan; musical guest Will Hoge.

From "The Mindy Project", creator and actress Mindy Kaling; stand-up comedy by Jeff Altman; musical guests Red Fang.

Comedy legend Bill Cosby; musical guests Sleigh Bells.