Still Standing

Judy is holding a book club meeting at the house, but Bill's macho behavior, including screaming and dropping pizza on the floor, gets in the way of her book discussion. Bill eventually noses himself into the club and steals Judy's attention, making her jealous because she was supposed to be ""the smart one."" She tries to take his mind off of books with sex, but that doesn't work. At the next club meeting, they fight over who gets to discuss first and end up getting kicked out of it. Judy is disappointed, but soon regains her self esteem when she finds out Bill had their son read the book for him in exchange for cash.

Bill and Judy attend their twentieth high school reunion, and soon they begin acting like teenagers again. Bill meets his old hot dog eating competitor and challenges him to see who can eat more pancakes at the reunion breakfast, while Judy is shocked to see that the most popular girl at school has become a successful architect and has a ""perfect life."" In order to make Judy happy, Bill makes up a lie about the woman's husband having an affair, and Judy spreads it all around the reunion. Now Bill has to make an effort and correct the lie, but only makes it worse – as the rumor spreads, the guy goes from a cheater to gay man. Meanwhile, Linda scores a date with an ex-boyfriend, but she can't get over his disliking of The Beatles.

Lauren anxiously awaits a phone call from a boy, and in an effort to help her, Bill tells the boy that she likes him and he should call her. Lauren is humiliated, so Judy buys tickets to a Blink-182 concert for her and all her friends. The only rule is that Bill cannot talk to the kids when they go to the concert, but unfortunately he can't help himself. Lauren leaves the concert and goes to the car in embarrassment and Bill ends up giving her fifty dollars to come back. But as one embarrassment ends, another one begins when Judy flashes her breasts to the band.

Bill and Judy's behavior at Tina's recital shames them into volunteering at her school, which leads to disaster.

Brian joins the school football team, but quits because the other kids are picking on him. He decides to do cheer-leading instead, but Bill is unsure about Brian's decision. Judy tells Bill that they need to try to support him, whatever he does.

After Judy and Bill order Lauren to drop basic math and take a more difficult algebra class, her bad attitude about schoolwork multiplies and the conflict between Lauren and her parents increases exponentially. Judy and Bill then try to solve the problem using the art of negotiation.

Bill finds out that Brian has been taking driving lessons and decides to teach how to drive before his 16th birthday. Although Brian has pretty good skill behind the wheel, Bill keeps insisting that he should behave more manlike. Judy secretly steps in and takes over teaching Brian, which Bill finds out after Brian does courtesy waves and hold him back on a sudden break after he buys him a 1981 ""Mystery Machine""-like van.

When Judy finally has a good idea at a PTA meeting, the attention she receives from the group's president, Elise Larkin, encourages her and Bill to become more responsible parents. After being invited to the Larkin's for a backyard barbecue, they go a step too far by voicing their concerns that the Larkin's son, Dorian, may be having sex – only to learn that they may need to be more concerned about the activities of their own son.

Brian and Lauren take jobs at different areas (book store and babysitting) and soon their bond with their bosses provokes jealousy among their parents. Bill and Judy feel overlooked when they realize their children are doing all sort of things with their bosses that they normally wouldn't do – or ever did – with them. Brian learns to like Led Zeppelin and baseball, while Lauren bakes brownies for her boss. All's well for the kids until their dream parents fall through and they realize there are no parents like Bill and Judy.

While Brian gets into the cheerleading squad, Lauren feels miserable because she didn't get a part in the school play, which makes her worry about her popularity. Bill and Judy go down to the school to try working things out, and Bill finds out that Lauren's drama teacher went to high school with him. Convinced that she's offering herself to him, Bill decides to let her down. When Lauren's part gets cut from the play, Judy tells Bill to seduce her teacher and get her back on the play. But Bill eventually finds out that his former high school fling is now a gay woman, and Lauren's participation on the play has nothing to do with it.

Judy's fear that Lauren is hanging out with the wrong crowd is confirmed when Lauren gets caught shoplifting. Although Judy doesn't believe Lauren's claim of innocence, Bill convinces her to give their daughter the benefit of the doubt. When it seems that Lauren has stolen again, Bill and Judy's parenting abilities are pushed to the limit.

When a doctor diagnoses Lauren with depression, the teenager sees a golden opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Meanwhile, Brian is desperate to figure out a way to stop his parents from going on college tours with him just to check out the local bars.

When a lesbian couple moves in next door, Bill and Judy are shameless in their quest to get approval to build the deck of their dreams. But when they fail to make nice with the couple, they decide to use Lauren to score points and convince her to go out with the neighbors' nerdy son, Chris. However, their plan backfires when Lauren actually falls for Chris, but his mothers think that Lauren's a bad influence.

When her cat dies, Linda starts treating her latest loser boyfriend more like a feline than a man. Meanwhile, Bill and Judy can't help but make fun of the strange circumstances of the cat's death.

Bill gets caught up in a fantasy card game in which players pretend to be wizards and warlocks after he learns that Brian is a champion player. Meanwhile, Judy starts spending time with Fitz now that Linda is engaged and doesn't have much time for her.

When the Halversons belittle Bill and Judy's ability to contribute to the school's silent auction, the Millers retaliate by coming up with the hit item. Impressed with the Millers' generosity, the Halversons offer to help Bill and Judy run the event that they donated. But when the Halversons back out on them, Bill and Judy decide that revenge is in order.

When Judy discovers that Bill is an excellent cook, she welcomes his help with the meals. But when he gets fussy about the cooking, Judy begins to think that maybe she preferred it when Bill spent all his time on the couch.

Brian has returned from his summer abroad and he should be excited about starting his senior year of high school, but he left his heart in Italy and can't stop thinking about the girl he met. Meanwhile, Linda's so desperate to keep Perry from a long-term gig on the road that she resorts to injuring him.

When Lauren starts taking advantage of neighbor Chris’ affections, Judy steps in to let him know that he is being used. Chris then directs his crush to Judy who takes advantage of him to get work done around the house.

When an heir to a beer company moves into the neighborhood, Bill has found a new best friend, but when Judy gets fed up she makes Bill choose between them. Meanwhile, Tina confounds Lauren by copying her outfits every day.

When Judy and Linda go to traffic school together, their roles are reversed, with Linda suddenly the popular one and Judy seen as a boring doctor. Meanwhile, after picking Lauren up from a college party she sneaked out to, Brian forces her to be his slave.

After scolding Bill and Kyle for their childish behavior, Judy is forced to swallow her pride and ask Kyle for help when she makes an irresponsible mistake.

When Judy tells Bill to take her mother to the eye doctor, her mother convinces Bill to take a gamble and disobey that order and go to a casino instead. When Judy finds out, Bill asks Judy if her insistence about the appointment is the result of her own fear of getting old, as her 40th birthday is just days away. Meanwhile, the kids are at a loss as to what to get their mom for her birthday.