Call Me Fitz

Richard "Fitz" Fitzpatrick, morally bankrupt top salesman of pre-owned automobiles for 9 years running, hits rock bottom when he crashes a GT on a test drive, puts a woman in a coma, and wakes up to find he's grown a conscience - a living/breathing hanger-on named Larry, who joins Fitzpatrick Motors as a do-gooder salesman, and threatens to undercut Fitz' debaucherous way of life...

After a failed hit on Larry's life, Fitz's only option is to get rid of him by proving Larry's a crazy person. After all, he claims to be his conscience. Meanwhile, Larry tries to purge Fitz of drugs and alcohol. But by the time Larry rallies the Fitzpatrick family for an intervention, Fitz's own sanity begins to dwindle in the throes of the DTs, and he decides to take whacking matters into his own hands...

When Fitz discovers his Father Ken is leaving Fitzpatrick Motors to Larry in his will, he has no choice but to prove Larry is NOT his long lost, responsible brother. And the only way to do it is a quick visit to his absentee, alcoholic mother Elaine. On Fitz's quest for closure however, he ends up at Elaine's weekly key party. When he can't find the answers he needs, he steals her car. Meanwhile, demented Junior Survivalist Kara builds her now growing attempted vehicular manslaughter case by blackmailing Josh with a compromising cell phone.

Fitz quickly unloads Elaine's car in hopes of putting their broken relationship behind him for good. But Larry is convinced it was a desperate plea to get her back in his life. Unfortunately for Fitz, that's exactly what happens. After manipulating Larry into a family reunion, Elaine gets Fitz on board to scam the Ruptals and get the car back. But its all part of a Long Con Elaine concocts to finalize her divorce and rid herself of all things Fitz once and for all...

When Larry and Meghan buy Ken a birthday present, Fitz scrambles to come up with his own gift to blow Meghan's out of the water. But the only thing they have in common is cars and porn. So Fitz shoots a car-themed porn with Ken's favorite classic porn star Candy Box. But she's a little older than Fitz remembered. When her kids show up, and her back goes out, Fitz has to man-up and save the day. By co starring with Sonja...

Fitz tries to hook Larry up with a drunk chick, only to end up sleeping with Janet, the drunkest of them all. But the next morning Fitz discovers Janet wasn't drunk, she's brain damaged. Meghan meanwhile tries to get back on the dating horse. When she mistakes an attempted purse snatching for a come-on, she takes her mugger hostage at a motel. Larry thinks Fitz's latest predicament is a perfect opportunity to teach him about love and devotion. But it gets complicated when Ali shows up. Especially since her comatose mother has developed a communication technique with her finger twitches, and she has an actual case against Fitz...

Broke, insomniac and paranoid, Fitz doesn't think things could get any worse, until a fortuneteller tells him he's fated to die by the next Beaver Moon. What the fuck is a Beaver Moon?

A giant penis defaces the Fitzpatrick Motors mural, and the penis is pointed straight at Fitz's mouth. Fitz is now determined to broadcast his heterosexuality far and loud. There's only one question. How?

When Larry diagnoses Fitz with dyslexia, he’s a little surprised by Fitz’s acceptance… until he discovers his plans to cash in on the disability system.

When Babs Devon’s body is dug up, Larry accidentally tells the cops that the Summerwind land is a Native burial ground. Fitz must fight to keep the site from being expropriated, how else will he build his dream lounge?

Confronted with his mortaility via a grey pube, Fitz tries to talk legendary crooner Dexter Laine into backing his plans for the Summerwind; cashing in on his idol's name is a sure bet. And failing that - sabatoge the old guy.

After the untimely death of Dexter Laine, there's only one thing left for Fitz to do - find a way to profit from his hero's demise. Little does he know, Dex's dismembered feet will help solve the mystery of Dot Foxly once and for all.

When Summerwind is closed after a demolition order comes in, Fitz wants to know who is messing with him. The fact that a Titmouse, an endangered bird, is what is stopping the club from being open. Fitz needs to retaliate.

When the identity of Fitz is deleted "accidentally" from Public Records, he along with Larry, decide to go to Miami and get Fitz's long-form birth certificate so that he can run for City Council.

When Fitz starts to lose money and sponsors for his campaign, he goes the Country Club to "work his charms" on the old money establishment to replenish the fund by asking them for donations.

Fitz attempts to prove that he is a friend of "ethnics" as he finds out that Chester has the main lead in the demographic. Fitz will stop at nothing to be on top.

"Sex For Votes" tactics that Fitz uses backfires when the Ladies Auxiliary president is found dead. Larry's approach proves more counter-productive than anything.

When the "Last Honest Man" approach is close to being sabotaged by Barry, Fitz's "supposed" illegitimate son, Fitz must try to save everything he can to stay in the race.

Fitz wants to use his baby to sell cars but first must prove to the courts that he can provide a stable and loving home.

The Fitzpatricks devise a plan to use a baby play group as a front for a brothel that caters to lonely moms

When the Fitzpatrick family learns their newest member has gone missing, no one really cares... until they find out Josh stashed the profits from the baby brothel in his diaper. Fitz and Larry follow Baby Fitz' trail to Chester Vince, who happens to be holding Ali Devon hostage in the back of his van. Fitz and Larry soon join Ali, and the three of them must find a way to work together in order to keep a mentally unbalanced Chester from burning them alive in a quest to communicate with his alien overlord, before the track down the child.

When Ken refuses to accept the return of the money Pat Childs found in Baby Fitz' diaper, Larry becomes convinced that loneliness is at the root of his very strange behavior. Fitz thinks Larry's smoking the dope, but when he sees Pat Childs encroaching on their business; he heeds Larry's advice to spend more time with his father, and enlists his help to take down Pat Childs using a classic pedophila scam "The Polanski." Unfortunately for Fitz, in spending some quality father-son time, he discovers a truth about his family that would have been best kept buried.

It's a rainy night at the Fitzpatrick house, and Larry takes the opportunity to use large amounts of alcohol to con the family into playing his favorite game: 'Truth: the board game'. Truth is true to its name, and even Larry ends up discovering far more about the Fitzpatricks than he ever wanted to know. When they wake up the next morning to find a freshly dug grave in the backyard and a missing Elaine, the family must band together in order to re-discover those truths and figure out what happened the night before.

Wedding bells are ringing at casa Fitzpatrick as Ken and Elaine get set to re-tie the knot, and everyone is getting into the act. Everyone except for Fitz, who is convinced the wedding is a secret ploy to bring down Fitzpatrick motors once and for all. In order to stop the impending nuptials, Fitz teams up with unlikely ally and bedfellow, Paula Childs to help expose her father's nefarious plans. More than kissing cousins are revealed when Pat Childs shows up at the ceremony with a truth bomb that will sever ties with Ken and Fitz once and for all.