Sanford and Son

Lamont buys a porcelain figure for $15 from a silent movie star and after having it appraised, Lamont and Fred decide to take it to an auction to make even more money on it. Fred and Lamont attend the auction pretending to be buyers so that the price can be jacked up higher. However, things go awry to Lamont's dismay.

Lamont buys Fred a new hat for his birthday and then tries to take him out on the town to celebrate. However, a visit to a fancy bar, a movie theater to see Fiddler on the Roof and dinner at a Chinese restaurant are far from a celebration for Fred.

Engaged, Lamont is excited about his impending nuptials but on the wedding day he quickly finds himself the only one who is. The bride dumps him at the altar and he finds his relatives begging to get back their wedding gifts.

Fred and Lamont buy a load of copper from a man that has been stealing copper in the neighborhood. The man is late for a meeting with Lamont at the diner because he is ripping off the Sanford plumbing pipes, which he then sells to Fred and Lamont.

Lamont comes down hard on Fred to try to get him to quit smoking and has him go to the doctor for a chest x-ray. Later, the results are sent in the mail and Fred becomes convinced he has tuberculosis.

While cleaning the house, Fred knocks over Lamont's glass figurine collection. Trying to cover up the fact that he broke them, Fred makes up a story about how the house was robbed and how he fought them off. In the process, he is labeled as a hero and Fred takes advantage of it.

Fred is sure that his dreams will be good luck in picking numbers for a lottery and his hunch turns out to be true, despite the fact that Lamont forbids him to participate. Fred quickly finds himself $500 richer but also finds Aunt Ethel and Bubba needing quick cash.

After getting in an accident with the truck, Fred thinks that he might have whiplash and Fred's friend Bubba convinces him that he can make big money off of the situation. Lamont is against the whole idea but Fred insists on going through with a lawsuit, but first Fred must identify the person the hit him.

Fred's cousin arrives with his new wife and his not-so-attractive stepdaughter, Betty Jean. When Fred finds out that she will inherit $10,000 if she marries, he tries to fix it so that Lamont will marry her. However, Fred's plan backfires when Lamont catches on to his scheme.

Donna, Fred's fiancee, brings a patient, Osgood Wilcox over for dinner at the Sanford residence and it becomes apparent that Osgood is interested in more than just medical care from Donna. Meanwhile, Lamont encourages Fred to believe there is something going on between Osgood and Donna resulting in a confrontation.

Fred's toothache becomes an exercise in patience for Lamont when Fred refuses to see a dentist and instead tries Bubba's home remedy and a hypnotist. Finally, Fred decides to throw in the towel and visits a dentist but insists on a white dentist.

Fred gets a surprise one night when Lamont announces that he's having some friends over to play poker. However, Fred doesn't take Lamont's advice at "getting lost" since he's convinced Lamont's so-called friends are trying to hustle him out of his money.

Fred comes home to find Lamont and his drama teacher Marilyn acting out a choking scene from the play "Othello." Fred then jumps to the logical conclusion that Lamont is trying to kill a white woman. Later, Fred becomes the victim of assumption when Marilyn invites Fred and Lamont to her place and her parents think Fred and Lamont are trying to rob the place.

Lamont visits an astrologist and discovers he's a double Libra, thus his goal in life is for peace and decides to get along with his father at all costs. Meanwhile, Fred eats a batch of 8 day-old greens and gets sick and becomes convinced he's dying. This leads to Grady spreading the word of Fred's supposedly impending death, which draws Aunt Esther and her friends out of the woodwork.

Lamont and Julio go out one evening to shoot pool leaving a left-out Fred behind to sulk. Fred soon finds himself a witness to a burglary when he confronts two thieves burglarizing Julio's house. Later, Fred refuses to testify and identify the culprits out of fear and a frustrated Lamont and Julio put a plan into motion to get him to, and it starts when Fred's truck is stolen.

Rollo and Lamont are managing a girl singing group from Philadelphia, The Three Degrees. They stay at the Sanford house while preparing for a talent show at the Safari Club. Fred is against the notion at first until he meets the three sexy girls. At the Safari Club, Lamont is surprised when Fred and his friends arrive and they start heckling the other acts.

Fred and Lamont's TV set is on it's last legs and Lamont considers buying a brand new one, however Fred buys a used color TV set for cheap. Things get out of hand when Fred's friend Grady stops by and recognizes Fred's new set as his set that was stolen. Fred quickly wants an out of the situation and sells it to his neighbor Julio for $50.

Lamont and Rollo are out on the town one evening and decide to stop in at a new bar for a couple drinks. However, they soon realize they have stumbled into a gay bar. Unknown to them, Bubba just happened to see them go inside. Bubba promptly jumps to conclusions and then proceeds to tell Fred that Lamont is gay. Not believing Bubba's story, Fred decides to get to the bottom of the situation.

Fred returns from his extended trip to St. Louis and Lamont, Donna, Aunt Esther, Bubba, Rollo and Grady have planned a surprise party for his return. Fred no more than steps in the door and Aunt Esther and him are at each other's throats. However, the real problem comes when Fred does some eavesdropping on Lamont and Grady.

Lamont's Uncle George dies and in his will he gives Lamont $7,000 if he weds and has a child and names it after his uncle and he has a year to do all this. Lamont has decided not to get married any time soon but blinded by dollar signs, Fred sneaks down to a dating service to match Lamont up with an available woman. Lamont catches on to Fred's plan and makes up a plan of his own to intervene.

It's the 35th anniversary of Sanford & Son Salvage and Lamont has two gifts planned to give Fred. The first is a new window with the specially printed title of their business and the other is an expensive ring that everyone has chipped in to buy. However, when Fred runs across it, he becomes convinced that it was stolen from Frank Sinatra, after Frank's hotel room was ransacked by the Tip-Toe Bandit.

Grady is bursting with news and breaks it to Fred and Lamont that he's engaged to a woman he met at J.C. Penny. However, Fred and Lamont are shocked to discover the "raging beauty" Grady raved about is not exactly a beauty queen. Fred soon finds Grady spending all his time with her and sets a plan into motion to break them up.

Fred's friends Julio and Ah Chew are getting on Fred's nerves and Lamont takes on the challenge of trying to change Fred's bigotry towards minorities. When Lamont fails, he decides to move out and in with Julio, something that unnerves Fred who doesn't seem to get use to the arrangement.

The tax season has come and after an accountant goes through the books he finds that Fred and Lamont will end up owing the government. The accountant explains the situation and Lamont decides to go out and gets a job at a clothing store, so more money is coming into the household. Fred fears this may be the end of Sanford & Son Salvage.

Fred wakes up one morning to discover what looks like a robbery took place but learns that there was a small earthquake overnight. Grady breaks the news that a big one is scheduled to hit on the 6th and a fed up Fred decides to sell the house and move. Meanwhile, Fred heads to Las Vegas to avoid the earthquake on the 6th and has a run in with Merv Griffin and Steve and Eydie.

Aunt Esther is fed up with her husband, Woodrow and has decided to end her marriage. She has become convinced that he's seeing other women behind her back and becomes even more convinced when Fred tries to hook him up with a swinger. Refusing to live in the same house with Woody, Esther moves in with Fred and Lamont.

Julio has moved out of his house and Fred and Lamont decide to buy it and turn it into a boarding house and call it The Sanford Arms. To get enough money for the project, Fred and Lamont go down to the bank to apply for a loan but soon find themselves hostages in a bank robbery attempt.

Julio's house has been transformed into Fred and Lamont's boarding house called The Sanford Arms. Now they've come to the task of finding some boarders and soon find themselves bombarded with an endless supply of crazies, including a hooker, an ex-con, a hippie, a newlywed couple, and Hoppy's eccentric mother.

Fred and Lamont are appalled when they see a sitcom, Steinberg and Son which amazing seems to be modeled on the life of Fred and Lamont. Fred and Lamont decide to check it out themselves and go to a taping of an episode and are shocked to see the similarites. In fact, the only thing different from the sitcom and Fred and Lamont's lives are the names of the characters and the fact that the cast is white. Lamont and Fred hire a lawyer and prepare a million dollar lawsuit againt the producers.

Fred's sister, Frances and her white husband, Rodney have been having some hard times and they stop by to ask Fred if they could stay with him for awhile. Meanwhile, problems at the Sanford Arms has Fred considering giving Rodney a job as general manager. But Rodney may not accept it since he's scheduled to perform in an act at a nightclub.

Three jewel thieves try and find a way to smuggle some expensive diamonds from Hawaii to L.A. That is where Fred and Lamont come in. Fred goes to Hawaii to attend a Junkmen of America convention. The crooks then plan to sneak the jewels on Fred so that he can take them to L.A. without knowing anything about it.

The diamond thieves continue their plot to have Fred smuggle the stolen diamonds into the United States. Freddy Wells sneaks into Fred's hotel room and plants the diamonds in his suitcase. Later, Lamont and Fred discover the diamonds and hesitate to call the police.

During a mishap at the airport Fred accidentally misplaces the suitcase with the diamonds and the crooks start chasing Lamont and him all over Hawaii, trying to get them back. Meanwhile, the cops close on in, but not before guns are drawn on Fred and Lamont as the crooks trap them on a boat.

Fred and Lamont have been busy planting a small garden in their yard when suddenly a professor stumbles in and suggests that they may be sitting on some oil. Later, Fred plants his scarecrow in the garden and actually strikes some oil. This leads to Fred and Lamont to ponder the fact that they may soon be millionaires.

Fred becomes smitten with a woman, Miss Wallace who comes to the Sanford residence looking for a place to stay at the Sanford Arms. Meanwhile, a thief has been spotted in the neighborhood and to get the reward money, Fred lets the cops set up a stakeout in his home. However, Fred is in for a shock since the thief has been in disguise as Miss Wallace.

Lamont's mother-in-law to be is coming to Watts for a visit and Fred is a little concerned about what she's going to think of a common junk man. This leads Fred to decide to create a legacy and tries to set a world's record and get his name in the Guinness Book of World Records. His goal is to be the person to stay awake the longest.