Spitting Image

While Margaret Thatcher impersonates the Queen, can Joan collins really be in bed with John McEnroe? As Bob Dylan protests against the use of cheese, Mick Jagger gets in trouble whilst abusing other dairy products. Meanwhile, in 'The Presidents Brain Is Missing', President Reagan wakes up in bed with a stuffed monkey...

Thatcher is seranaded by her Cabinet in the back garden of Number 10 while Mary Whitehose strengthens her convictions about how awful Spitting Image really is. Dylan is still protesting - this time against pants - and Sir Robin Day may finally have met his match on this week's 'Question Time'

As a parasitic version of Janet Street-Porter speaks to you live and direct from Nancy Regan's navel, Jeremy Wilcox is in his back garden at No. 9 Downing Street, London, flirting with Prime Minsiter Margaret Thatcher over the hedge. Prince Charles pays a starnge visit to the Falklands while Lawson is interrogated by Thatcher and Norman Tebbit over the budget - with dire consequences!

Ronald Reagan is busy plucking his nostrils as Prince Philip tries to introduce baby Prince William to the joys of rabbiting. David Attenborough's latest programme may incite Dennis Thatcher to lascivious behaviour , but has he met his match with Anthony the Anteater?

With her party looming ever closer, can The Queen maintain grace under pressure as her dysfunctional family continue to show her up? Still evading Attenborigh's clutches, has Anthony the Anteater met his match in Prince Philip?

As Lord Lucan continues to hide down the front of Cyril Smith's trousers, David Coleman commentates on the latest football match from Beirut. Margaret Thatcher tries to convince a sceptical Sir Robin Day on the benefits of cannibalism.

While Ronald Reagan loses a debate to a cheese sandwich, Robert Maxwell ponders the content of tomorrow's newspapers. The Royal Family decide long and hard on a name for the new baby, but one of their number hides a dark secret...

Prince Williams devious machinations continue, while Barry Norman takes time out to interview Dustin Hoffman in his starring role as The Lettuce. The Cabinet struggle to find a response to the latest piece of news when they find all the best answers have already been used.

As Liz Taylor explodes, Donald Sinden tries his best to sell the viewing public a nice cup of Reptiles Bland Blend Coffee. Sir John Geilgud reads another excerpt from the Booker Prize winning 'The A Team' (in the original Latin).

Prince William's plan to remove all obstacles between himself and the throne continues apace. Snooker champion Steve Davis bemoans his lack of a nickname and comes up with something altogether more 'interesting'...

It's Rubinovski and Franks - the new crimefighting duo starring a sheep and an anteater - and woe betide the lawbreaker who gets in their way! Meanwhile, the pound sterling is in freefall and so is the Chancellor!

Russian Prime Minister Gorbachev proves beyond a doubt he;s the grooviest Russian premier in history. Meanwhile, Jim Callaghan states publicly that, being a pedigree wolverine breeder, he would feed them nothing other than new Chunky Lumps.

While the Cabinet celebrates Michael Heseltine's resignation, Prince Philip wastes his time trying to teach his son how to play Colditz. Ronald Reagan's diary tells the inside story on the presidency, and celebrities band together for another charity songbecause they are scared of Bob Geldof.

Prince Andrew's in trouble wih his Pa for the size of his unmentionables. Terry Wogan chooses Sooty as his holiday replacement while Margaret Thatcher works on a new softer image. Derek Jameson gor-blimeys his way through another horrible programme.

Sir David Attenborough has a philosophical discussion with a suicidal seal. Leon Brittan discusses the possible repercussions of being outed as a mole and Brian Walden discovers that you can't put a better bit of Botha on your knife.

Desmond Wilcox's new intrusive, fly-on-the-wall documentary comes to grief when the happy couple refuse to watch 'That's Life!'. Sir Alistair Burnet almost come to blows with John Craven when 'News At Ten' doesn't have a funny story to end the show.

Arthur Daley has to bow out of Thatcher's service because he's just not sleazy enough. Jim Callaghan shows the best way to grow your money, while the Shadow Cabinet break into Number 10 and the Queen Mother buys a new titfer (hat).

Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson (Fergie), try to sort out their wedding plans, while a brand new song about holding chickens aloft gets it's first airing. The Who discover that they are no longer the voice of urban youth, and Prince Charles meets up with a cheeky Cockney chappie.

When a Cherubic urchin gets an unfortunate visitation from the Tooth Fairy, the BBC News gets a revamp with Marcel Marceau reporting live from Northern Ireland. A bunch of professional cockneys show off their new long-playing record and Jeffrey Archer appears on Mastermind - his special subject; Jeffrey Archer.

Points of View is taken to task for a continuity error made during the transmission of some hard-core porn, Neil Kinnock takes on a true Mission Impossible - turning the Labour Party into an electable force by 1992 - and Bros are shocked to find that they've just gone out of fashion.

Mrs. Thatcher confesses her true feeling to Ronald Reagan, whilst yet another ITV Telethon tries it's best but fails miserably. Alan Bennett attempts to get Richard Attenborough interested in his new play about an old lady from Huddersfield who can't open a packet of biscuits. Dickie's not sold on the idea.

In an attempt to capture the Green Vote the entire cabinet has grown beards, including Mrs. Thatcher. Sycophancy runs riot during the Royal Variety Show which, this year, celebrates 'Prince Edward - One Year in Showbusiness'. Donald Sinden personally introduces its highlight - Ben Elton taking a brisk trot through history as The Fool.

Jimmy Greaves' concerns about hooliganism at Wimbledon are laid to rest, while Esther Rantzen has a bit of a shock when she meets a dog that refuses to say 'sausages'. While the truth about Kennedy's assasination still refuses to come out, Pavarotti gives a star turn at 'the Last Night Of The Yobs'.

The Conservative government try to reassure the people that the vast majority of statements made by Edwina Currie are harmless. Robery Kilroy investigates the future of broadcasting and John Mortimer fights the case for quality television. Neil Kinnock, leader of The Labour Party, gives a radio performance of 'Under Milk Snatcher', a play for voices very definately not written by Welsh poet Dylan Thomas.