Write On

Henry submits a poorly-written review of an opera. It lacks adverbs, implores Morton. But if the editor's remarks are bad enough for Henry, he must also deal with opera singer La Bellicosa, for it was her nephew's opera that Henry criticized.

The first of Henry Kent's daydreams materializes when Morton chides him for not using specific nouns. In the dream, Henry is a famous surgeon who gives direction to befuddled compatriots.

Miss Grouse, the garden columnist for the newspaper, is about to be relieved of her duties because she has re-used clichés in her work. Her dog groans at her very mention of a cliché. It is up to Henry to help Miss Grouse get a fresh approach to her column.

Henry has written an incredibly superfluous sentence in his column whn, in short, he should have explained, ""As long as he lived, he loved her."" Morton warns him that he is using gobbledygook, language littered in ""government documents and the space agency."" That's too bad, because a UFO is about to crash into the Earth. The space agency sends the UFO an urgent message littered with gobbledygook, promting the UFO's plain response, ""Doesn't anyone [on Earth] speak English?"" Morton, Henry, and Miss Newton tell the space agency to send the message, ""Turn back before you destroy the Earth,"" which the UFO understands perfectly, and complies.

Henry reveals to Miss Newton the lessons he has learned through daydreams. Flashbacks retell the need for concrete nouns, the difference between sentences and fragments, commas used with appositives and commas in a series.

When Miss Newton criticizes one of his daydreams, Henry tells her of how he learned correct use of the semicolon, quotation marks, and hyphens.