The Anna Nicole Show

Anna goes house hunting; attends Guess? 20th Anniversary Party * * * Anna goes house hunting with her entourage. She really likes house #2, but the rent is too high and she hasn't received her money yet. Anna then gets emotional over the house and claims that it reminds her of Howard (that'd be her former husband J. Howard Marshall). She attends a Guess? 20th anniversary party where she is photographed and a fuss is made over her. Afterward, she confesses that she loves her paparazzi. The next morning they talk to other brokers in an attempt to find a house. After a short search they find what Anna calls her dream house.

Anna brings her husband's ashes home; and buys trashy lingerie. * * * Anna and the gang bring what furniture she has into the new house. They hire a decorator, Bobby Trendy, to decorate the empty house. Kim and Anna go shopping and on the way they play a game where you punch each other when you see a ""bug"" (the car). They get into an argument and start calling each other names. They go to Trashy Lingerie to buy, of course, lingerie. When they return home everyone watches Anna's interview on Larry King Live. In the beginning of the episode, Anna says to make her house a home, she needs to bring her late husband's ashes in. Howard explains that Anna, in court, was given half of her husbands ashes. Anna becomes emotional upon moving his ashes from the old house to the new one. Anna takes J. Howard Marshall's ashes on a tour of the house, which ended with him getting his own spot, on the television, in Anna's bedroom.

Anna & company have an eating contest; Anna and Kim go to a tattoo parlor. * * * Anna, Kim, Howard, and Daniel have an eating contest at an Italian restaurant, Mazzarino's. Howard makes the rule that if you throw up during the meal, you're disqualified. Kim is the first to give up. Anna starts says that she's hot. She then says she needs to go to the bathroom. Howard immediately assumes Anna is going in there to throw up, so Daniel and Howard go to the bathroom door to listen. Anna becomes angry at Howard and tells him to get out of her life if he doesn't trust her. She says that he's calling her a liar (apparently not a good thing to do, as Kim learned while playing ""punch bug"" in episode 2). To get away from Howard, Anna and Kim go to the tattoo parlor. Anna gets flowers added to her tattoo, Kim gets Anna's signature added to her Anna Nicole Smith tattoo on her left arm. Kim decides, after some coaxing, to get her tongue pierced. While Anna and Kim are at the tattoo parlor, Bobby Tre

Anna goes to the dentist; then, to a theme park. * * * Anna tells us that she only started going to the dentist in her twenties. On the way to the dentist's office she shares stories of how she ""got off"" as a child. She goes on to tell us that last time she was at the dentist she had a panic attack and ran off. The dentist, Dr. Nick Luizzi, tells us she needs up to twenty crowns. Anna's friend, Kelly, plays Twister with Anna and then Kelly models her teeth for Anna's dentist. Bobby Trendy delivers more furniture to Anna's house. Bobby and Anna share some of their ideas for Anna's bedroom: leopard designs on the wall, stripes of white against a pink wall, etc. etc. Anna forces Kim to go to Magic Mountain. Kim is very upset to have been made to go to the theme park. They go on a water ride and end up completely soaken (Anna wearing white pants and a white shirt). Duh! Anna forces Kim to ride Goliath, the biggest roller coaster at the park. Then, again convinced by Anna, Kim rides with An

Anna and company go to Sin City: Vegas, baby! * * * Anna says one thing she learned as a stripper is: one man plus two beers equals twenty dollars. She says her life is very stressful, as her teeth, PMS, Bobby Trendy, and even Sugar Pie have been causing her problems. She was feeling so stressed she decides to go, with her entourage, to Sin City: Vegas! They stay in a huge suite. Anna gets her nails and hair done. Then she goes to a male strip club. Anna gets called up onto the stage. Afterwards, she meets the male dancers. Anna says the only thing, other than men, she likes is money. So they do some gambling. Anna keeps losing all her chips, so Kim gives her some of hers. They decide to take what money they have left and spend it on the Strip. Anna and company go riding a golf cart through the Strip, then go to a female strip club. Anna buys Kim and Howard a lap dance. Anna, of course, also gets a lap dance. (more of the Sin City trip in Episode #6)

The gang continue their vacation in Vegas; then head home. * * * The lap dances continue from last episode. Howard gives Anna a ""dance."" They sober up with the bill comes. After all the action, Anna decides she's hungry. So they all go out to a buffet dinner. The next day Anna is ready to go home, but fits in a little shopping before leaving. Anna & company discuss the time they spent in Vegas. Howard says he won't get married until Anna's case is settled -- and may never get married. Can we have a collective sigh from all the women out there? Anna wants to lose weight so she hires a man from Private Chefs, Inc. named Christian Paier. He brings four chefs (Oliver, Michael, Marcel, and Alexander) for a ""chef trial."" Anna prefers Alexander, who just happens to be a body double for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Bobby Trendy delivers some more furniture for Anna's bedroom. Bobby says that he and Howard seem to be ""at odds."" Howard tries to protect Anna from being cheated by Bobby.

Anna chooses between five bachelors. * * * In this live and supersized season premiere, which is hosted by Joe Millionaire butler Paul Hogan, Anna has to choose between five bachelors. The bachelors are Jeff Hawkins, Brook Pemberton, Frank Miniaci, Mark Norris, and Mitchell Olson. The episode chronicles the search for the bachelors, Anna's date with them, and Howard putting each of them through a lie detector test. Anna narrows it down to three bachelors, eliminating Mitchell and Frank. Each remaining bachelor gets 30 seconds to state his case to Anna. Anna makes her decision: Mark.

Anna and company go camping * * * Daniel doesn't want to be part of the show anymore. He says he doesn't want to be famous. Howard says they should mention it to Anna while they are camping. Anna, Daniel, Kim, and Howard are warned of the dangers of their camping experience. Howard and Kim leave to get supplies... Anna puts together a potty, and then starts a fire. Anna and Daniel discuss how he feels about doing the show. Daniel confesses he doesn't want to do it, and Anna says that's okay, all he had to do is say so. Anna freaks out when she hears coyotes, and retreats to her tent. Howard and Kim return, and they all roast weiners and sing a campfire song. Then they go to sleep. During the night, Anna yells for Howard and tells him that ""something is out here."" Ranger Steve returns to their camp site and takes the gang fishing. Daniel catches the first fish, a very small one. Anna rushes Howard to get the fish unhooked so they can throw it back. Anna calls Daniel a fish murderer, the

Anna sets her sights on the acting world. * * * Anna gets a call from Cedric the Entertainer asking her to be a guest on his TV show. She practices her lines for the show with Kim and Howard. Then we flash back to when Anna got information from an acting coach that sends her Shakespeare literature to practice - she reads the lines with Howard. In the lines, she must slap the person who is reading with her, and Howard got tired of that fast. She gets her make-up artist, Angie, to practice the lines with her. It doesn't turn out well when Anna slaps Angie (which is a little off and turned out to be more of a scratch), and Angie calls her a b****. Anna is visited by Dr. Amazing and an astrologer, Gemini. Dr. Amazing hypnotizes Anna to help her remember her lines, and make her feel better about acting. Anna prepares as well as she could, so she attends class. Her partner is actor Danny Bonaduce. Anna and Danny are put on the spot when they must practice their lines in front of an acting cl

Anna Nicole injures her knee; and trades places with a waitress. * * * The first part of this episode is a mock E! True Hollywood Story that chronicles the gang going skating then Anna falling and hurting her knee. Anna gets frustrated about being inside all the time, so Howard and Kim take her to a restaurant in town. Anna decides she wants to trade places with the waitress at the restaurant. And so Anna becomes a waitress. After her shift, she can't go home - she has to take care of the children of the waitress, and the waitress gets a taste of how Anna Nicole's life is. In the end, Anna realizes she misses her own life.

Anna decorates her neighbor's room, while they decorate hers. * * * Anna trades spaces with her neighbors, Cris and Wes. Anna wants them to decorate her room of choice, and she wants to decorate theirs. The neighbors hire a designer, while Anna hires a designer of her own -- who just happens to be a dominatrix. Anna decides to male her neighbor's room a ""sex room."" After shopping for the necessary items, Anna, Howard, and Kim get to work. They clear out the room and start the transformation. They paint all the walls black. Over at Anna's house, the neighbors use feng shui to decorate the room. Finally, it's time for the rooms to be revealed. Anna loves her room. Wes liked the room Anna had decorated, but after some discussion Cris decides it's best for them to redo the room (because it faces the street, and may be offensive to some people).

Anna goes on a date with the bachelor she chose in episode 14; Howard visits his parents. * * * Mark, from the season two premiere, takes Anna on a date in another town, which means they stay overnight (separately). He arrives to take her out in an eighteen-wheeler, which Anna is not happy about. On the long drive, Mark tries to draw Anna out, but all she wants to do is sleep. Anna is wide awake when a cop pulls Anna and Mark over. After a lousy ride, Anna decides to have a good time. The next day, Anna and Mark enjoy breakfast and go to a rodeo. When Mark and Anna leave the stands they run into some cowboys. They convince her to ride a horse. As they ride, the cowboys sweet talks Anna, and asks her to spend the evening with them. She, with sadness, sends Mark packing. Anna enjoys a fun evening with the cowboys. Meanwhile, Howard goes to visit his parents. He upsets his mother by cursing, is asked to go to the dentist, and get a physical.